Mar. 31st, 2009

dragonray: (Default)
OK so raiding has taken up most of my life recently, as has running a guild, aside from the mental issues, but what happens when something happens that makes you not want it as much anymore. it being and unknown item that you feel you no longer crave.

There was pain with what he did to me, he bruised, cut, hurt, and devoured my soul leaving me broken, heartless and wanting to die...I can deal with that....

But when you actually tell someone you barely know about all that, and feel the need to cry like a baby with their comforting words, does that actually make it truth then?

I no longer want the kill, I want the love, companionship, friendship - I have found in someone miles away the kind of friendship and love I think I have always been looking for. There is something so complex about this new relationship, I am drawn as a moth to flame (sorry for cliche).

We share a common pain, a similar history, the same tastes in things :p, and in the few weeks we have known each other I feel closer to this person than anyone (excluding hubby of course), they know more about me than some friends of years and yet they stay and want to know more and share their experiences as well. It is so nice to be able to talk to someone who shares the pain and the hurt and knows what you are going through from personal experience, you can compare scars and help rebuild trust in the world.

They are coming to my birthday party in May - SQUEEE!!!! - from overseas....sure to see other people as well, but they are coming to my party to meet me and hang out with me and be part of my life. The favour will be returned one day soon!

Some people come into your life when you need them most, when you feel the end is drawing you in, when you feel the hopelessness building, I hope this person doesn't leave anytime soon, they are so much more than a voice on the other end of a voice tool at the moment.

Thanks B, I owe you so much more than I can offer.


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