Apr. 17th, 2009

dragonray: (Default)
Prince sent me an SMS this morning asking me to pass on his hugs and kisses to B....

he still has no internet, but he loves you babe!
dragonray: (Default)
So I had really horrible dreams last night, i mean really horrible dreams...I am used to my nightmares they are pretty standard for me and have been for years...I don't think I go a night without being murdered via some method...and I guess I have dealt with that, but last night...last night was horrific....even by my standards....

I remember waking in the middle of the night briefly with tears, but fell asleep very quickly again as I rolled over...to the comfort of my D. Closer to morning apparently I was having rude dreams though and moaning etc so I guess that's a good thing, but as the morning has worn on and I have remembered more of my dreams last night I am becoming more and more sad about them.

My insecurities are really shining through at the moment in my head, I am not sure why, maybe because so many things have changed lately, in my head and my life. Perhaps I am trying to catch up with it all.

People always tell you to try and remember things about the dreams, colours, smells, feelings etc and there are only a few things that shine for me - I have never seen so much blood, I felt as is if i was being torn apart centimetre by centimetre, and the sense that the 5 people involved had set this up with the intent to harm me - and I mean set me up as in everything for the last few years was leading up to this "event".

anyway, maybe it is just PMT :) well I hope so!
dragonray: (Default)
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Too many too choose from my top list would be:

Wilson Phillip - Hold on for one more day
Allison Moyet - Invisible
Anberlin - Dismantle. Repair.
Michelle Branch - Goodbye to you
Dixie Chicks - Not ready to make nice.

That's all that come to mind - I can't have just one :D
dragonray: (kenshin)
yes, i did...it came from the west.

You crippled my heart, why do I have thoughts midway through a day that ruin it for me. I was mending. I was smiling. I was happy. I am bleeding.

I hate you. Your car. Your smile. Your hair. Your face. Your voice. I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU! Leave me alone and let me drown in the agony.

I hate what you made me do. I hate what you let me become. I hate that you are in my mind every day. I hate that you made me invisible. I hate that I am too scared to live. I hate that you took away my innocence.

You stole my life. My love. My smile. My happiness. My confidence. You took everything from me.

Who am I? I am sure I have feelings, interests, stories....why did he not want my mind? Or maybe he did - and that is what he now has.


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