pleasure

Last night, I think I was in heaven. There was beauty and laughter; moonlight; love.

I felt the weight of the world be slowly chipped away by B and D's laughter and flirtation over skype. Had me in hysterics with dirty texts being sent back and forth between them.

I felt content last night, as though everything was fitting into place, as though things were finally settling down into some semblance of order in my mind. The jigsaw puzzle that is me is coming together.

I even slipped up later in bed with D when we were having our nightly chats, about love and sex and how it had all changed for me...I said love instead of sex at one point - indicating they were possibly the same thing in my head now...after a fashion, so that was pretty awesome. Well more that I now can understand the emotion behind sex, rather than just the action of it.

The last few months have been hard with people drifting in and out of my life, friendships broken with no words being said, new friends that are mending that hurt and making me feel as though I am worth the effort. The knowledge that you can affect other people's lives by just being you and showing them they are also worth something.

Unless you let people in, to see who you really are, the pain you carry, your burdens, your joys, time won't heal all wounds.

You are time.