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aww how sweet
Apr. 17th, 2009 07:48 amPrince sent me an SMS this morning asking me to pass on his hugs and kisses to B....
he still has no internet, but he loves you babe!
he still has no internet, but he loves you babe!
Apr. 17th, 2009
Why do dreams do that?
Apr. 17th, 2009 12:06 pmSo I had really horrible dreams last night, i mean really horrible dreams...I am used to my nightmares they are pretty standard for me and have been for years...I don't think I go a night without being murdered via some method...and I guess I have dealt with that, but last night...last night was horrific....even by my standards....
I remember waking in the middle of the night briefly with tears, but fell asleep very quickly again as I rolled over...to the comfort of my D. Closer to morning apparently I was having rude dreams though and moaning etc so I guess that's a good thing, but as the morning has worn on and I have remembered more of my dreams last night I am becoming more and more sad about them.
My insecurities are really shining through at the moment in my head, I am not sure why, maybe because so many things have changed lately, in my head and my life. Perhaps I am trying to catch up with it all.
People always tell you to try and remember things about the dreams, colours, smells, feelings etc and there are only a few things that shine for me - I have never seen so much blood, I felt as is if i was being torn apart centimetre by centimetre, and the sense that the 5 people involved had set this up with the intent to harm me - and I mean set me up as in everything for the last few years was leading up to this "event".
anyway, maybe it is just PMT :) well I hope so!
I remember waking in the middle of the night briefly with tears, but fell asleep very quickly again as I rolled over...to the comfort of my D. Closer to morning apparently I was having rude dreams though and moaning etc so I guess that's a good thing, but as the morning has worn on and I have remembered more of my dreams last night I am becoming more and more sad about them.
My insecurities are really shining through at the moment in my head, I am not sure why, maybe because so many things have changed lately, in my head and my life. Perhaps I am trying to catch up with it all.
People always tell you to try and remember things about the dreams, colours, smells, feelings etc and there are only a few things that shine for me - I have never seen so much blood, I felt as is if i was being torn apart centimetre by centimetre, and the sense that the 5 people involved had set this up with the intent to harm me - and I mean set me up as in everything for the last few years was leading up to this "event".
anyway, maybe it is just PMT :) well I hope so!
Writer's Block: Theme Song
Apr. 17th, 2009 04:09 pm[Error: unknown template qotd]
Too many too choose from my top list would be:
Wilson Phillip - Hold on for one more day
Allison Moyet - Invisible
Anberlin - Dismantle. Repair.
Michelle Branch - Goodbye to you
Dixie Chicks - Not ready to make nice.
That's all that come to mind - I can't have just one :D
Too many too choose from my top list would be:
Wilson Phillip - Hold on for one more day
Allison Moyet - Invisible
Anberlin - Dismantle. Repair.
Michelle Branch - Goodbye to you
Dixie Chicks - Not ready to make nice.
That's all that come to mind - I can't have just one :D
Can you smell the winds of change?
Apr. 17th, 2009 04:16 pmyes, i did...it came from the west.
You crippled my heart, why do I have thoughts midway through a day that ruin it for me. I was mending. I was smiling. I was happy. I am bleeding.
I hate you. Your car. Your smile. Your hair. Your face. Your voice. I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU! Leave me alone and let me drown in the agony.
I hate what you made me do. I hate what you let me become. I hate that you are in my mind every day. I hate that you made me invisible. I hate that I am too scared to live. I hate that you took away my innocence.
You stole my life. My love. My smile. My happiness. My confidence. You took everything from me.
Who am I? I am sure I have feelings, interests, stories....why did he not want my mind? Or maybe he did - and that is what he now has.
You crippled my heart, why do I have thoughts midway through a day that ruin it for me. I was mending. I was smiling. I was happy. I am bleeding.
I hate you. Your car. Your smile. Your hair. Your face. Your voice. I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU! Leave me alone and let me drown in the agony.
I hate what you made me do. I hate what you let me become. I hate that you are in my mind every day. I hate that you made me invisible. I hate that I am too scared to live. I hate that you took away my innocence.
You stole my life. My love. My smile. My happiness. My confidence. You took everything from me.
Who am I? I am sure I have feelings, interests, stories....why did he not want my mind? Or maybe he did - and that is what he now has.